Working Moms- The heartache that you cant describe….

Since my return to work as a teacher from maternity leave, I always had a pit in my stomach. This ache that I can not explain when I leave my son at daycare and come to work. Here I am paying someone else to take care of my child so I can work. (I mean obviously not just me but my husband and I both going to work).

As hard is at was, I managed. I did ok and accepted how he was interacting with other kids, he was happy there, they are a friendly, clean and incredibly supporting daycare and I feel safe leaving my little man there. I try to focus on my day at work and less on how his day is at daycare. He was 6 months when I had to return to work. So I know I was very fortunate to have had all that time with him. I was thankful that they did not have a camera that I could watch him all day long but they update an app with all the details of his day consistently. That made things a little easier.

It was not until returning to work in January that the small ache in my heart felt like it was ripping in two. After spending two weeks together around the holidays, and seeing him about to take his first steps any day now, it is absoultely killing me to leave him there. I can not explain how much I miss him when I check the app and see him. It is SO HARD being a working mom.

I did not know how hard it was until recently. I feel like I am about to miss his milestones. I worry that he will walk at daycare and I wont get to see that proud face as he feels comfortable moving around. I worry that our time is becoming more and more limited at night as he takes a nap when I get home, and then its dinner and bath and the next thing I know its bed time.

I am overwhelmed with how fast he is growing and that hes 10 months now, and I am thinking about his first birthday. I never understand how fast time goes until I became a mom. To see how limited I am throughout my days to accomplish things is something I could not prepare for.

I write this not to share with you the struggles I feel as a working mom but for support. To let you know that I hear you other moms out their that I know are feeling the same way as me. To ask for your tips and support as I try to navigate this new phase in my life. How do I maximize every time I can with him before its too late?

I love my son so much and being a mom has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I have never felt this kind of love before and I pray and hope that you all get to experience what it feels to be a mom (or parent) in some capacity one day. For now, I will continue to work, continue my side business and hope that in the not so near future I will have more time with my son.